Hey CJ--Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

Enough to break the ice. 

Hi, my name is Marie Colette.

First, I would just like to say for what it's worth, I'm really very sorry about the World Series. Ya'll put up a great fight.

Second, yes, if I had met you in a bar the polar bear line is  the pick up line I would have used. Yes, I would have used. It's probably a good thing I didn't meet you in a bar....

In response to your video I would just like to say that I am the perfect girl for you. Here's why:

1) I am 25 and single. 

2) I absolutely love to dance.

3) I'm about this tall.

4) I don't race cars but I recently impressed some people about my knowledge of Indy Car drivers.  

5)I couldn't decide on a response to film noir so I'm just gonna list everything:

•  I don't know what film noir is. Well, I do now cause I Wikipedia'd it. But that doesn't count. Maybe I'm not perfect but who is? who is?  
•  Ah, you got me on film noir. So, let's make a deal. I'm looking for a man who knows how to dance Ceroc. Heard of it? I'll teach you if you teach me ;). 
• Film noir is French for black film and Marie Colette is French for my real name. So, same thing, right?

You can just circle whichever response you like best.

6) Adventure is my middle name. I've been to a couple of Adventure Races. I like to climb mountains. One time I went backpacking with friends and we got lost on the expert trail. In the Superstition Mountains where people go missing and die.  But we found our way out. Adventure at its finest.

So if this entices you at all you can respond to this blog. If you want to know more about what I'm looking for, read the rest of the blog.

Hope you're enjoying the off-season.
Sincerely,

Marie Colette

P.S. I just want to let you know that even though I only have 3 people following this blog I have lots of friends.

P.P.S. I also was really relieved when I saw that only 2,543 people have viewed your dating ad on youtube. That plus the however many million people were watching the game when the video played, I feel like I have really good chance of hearing back from you.  

Wearing the Wrong Hat Has Its Rewards

I really can't complain about wearing the Nationals hat to the game against the Reds. If I hadn't worn that hat, then I could not have been in this PSA that will be playing on the jumbo tron next season.

And it could just be my ticket to fame....or at least a date...

I Wore the Wrong Hat!

Picture this:

My first week in DC. Free tickets to the Nationals game.

In my rush to get to the game on time, I didn't look to see who the Nationals were up against.

I put on my Nationals hat. Yes, I own a Nationals hat already. I bought it at a thrift store in Cincinnati about 4 years ago for a costume. I found it again right before deciding to move to DC. It was definitely a sign.

Got to the game. I see one person with a Red's hat on and shake it off because people often where Reds hats because it's "cool." Then I see two other people with hat's on and it dawns on me....

The Nationals are playing the Reds! And I'm wearing a Nationals hat!

It's ok, because I figured out what to do when I'm wearing the "other" team's apparel. I scream as loud as I can for the Reds, which I found out leads to:

• Dirty looks
• Awkward conversations with Nats fans
• Awkward conversations with Reds fans

Now, let me back up a little. I mentioned that we (my friend and I) got free tickets to this game. They weren't so much tickets as passes. Passes that allowed us to sit in any open seat. And, well, it's a Nationals game. There are a lot of open seats. Which means for the second time in 5 days I get to sit about 15 rows up from the dugout. For the first couple of innings. But we're not bound by any seats. So we go to the nice seats in center field. Where I can also scope out Drew Stubbs better. (I yelled out to him, he didn't look...shoot). Then we ended the game about 5 rows behind the Reds dugout. Talk about living the life. (P.S. the Reds won 2-1 with a nice double play from Phillips to Votto at the end).

After all that I had a conversation with God that went a little like this:

Dear God,

I have been able to smell the sweat of the baseball players but haven't met any yet. I can visualize a life of having awesome seats. Is this just a tease or is something going to come of this?

Love,

Marie Colette

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention. My friend that got us the passes also had us do a public service announcment about drinking responsibly. This was probably my big shot. I have no idea when and where it will play. Hopefully it will make me famous so that baseball players start blogs about trying to get a date with me.

Best Game Yet

Last Saturday I went to the Red's vs. Padres game in Cincinnati with my brother and a couple of friends. I forgot how awesome it is to be in my home stadium with all the fans cheering for the home team. I hadn't been to a game at Great American Ballpark for 2 years. During regular season the past couple of years I donned the Red's gear at Chase Field in Phoenix, I sang "Root, root, root for the REDLEGS!" amidst the crowd of D-Backs fans, turned my hat inside out for rally time when the Red's weren't doing so hot. It's just not the same as being on the home field.
Anyway, this game was particularly awesome for a few other reasons:

Great seats....15 rows up from the visitor's dugout

                            Unexpectedly ran into my best friend

                                               Rainbow beyond the outfield during the game

                                                               Free pitcher and cup set (to bring to DC, of course)

                                              7 HOMERUNS!!!                 
                 
I'm almost certain Drew Stubbs looked right at me


Good things are happening at the ballpark. I'm getting closer to meeting some baseball players. I can feel it.

Cee Lo Green--not talking about me

Dear Brandon Phillips,

Although I don't think that you really blew me off for the reasons listed in my previous blog, if you ever do read my blog, I want you to know 2 things:

1) Why I chose to focus on baseball players--

• Most of the things I look for in a man, I feel like most baseball players would possess: tall, athletic, competitive, ambitious, and strong-willed
• Being a professional sports player is not easy, and I have what it takes to support him
• Baseball is an outdoor sport (except in Phoenix....which is probably why the D-Backs don't have many fans) and I love to be outdoors (Golf would have been my second pick)
• Phoenix or Florida in March
• Summer is my favorite time of year
• I look good in baseball hats
• Football gets cold
• Basketball is indoors

2) I am not a gold digger--

• The dress I was wearing the night I met Jason Aldean I bought for $3 at a thrift store (that's not a typo--$3, not $30)
• I'm smart enough that if I wanted a lot of money, I could get it by my own sweat and tears
• I've played an Atari much more than an XBOX
• The last name brand things I bought were new (not used) Under Armour shorts and tank-- each for $5
• I could go on, but just ask my friends--they know

So, Brandon, that's the deal. And, I'm going to ask one more time (ok, maybe not just one more time):

What do I need to do to get a professional baseball player to ask me on a date?

Sincerely,

Marie Colette

Rejected meets Country Music

Well Brandon Phillips, you did not respond to my last blog. I even tagged you in a tweet about the blog and got nothing.

It's ok. Part of the reason I'm doing this blog is because I can take rejection. I mean, it was probably my timing. When I tweeted Brandon, he was in the middle of a game against the Brewers. It probably got mixed in with other tweets...from other girls...
                          Maybe he did read it....I knew I shouldn't have mentioned the roller skating dream. That was weird...
                                           Or the head in the oven joke--He's probably heard that one a million times.
No, but really it was just bad timing....

Two weeks ago the MLB Home Run Derby and All Star Game came to Phoenix. I wasn't able to go to either because of work obligations, but I went out with a group of friends after each to see who we could see (and, of course, by that I mean baseball players).

We didn't run into any baseball players that night, unfortunately. But our efforts were not made in vain because I learned the best way to get the attention of a famous country music singer:

You ask him if he's part of his own band.

That's right, we ran into Jason Aldean and crew that night. (Don't know who he is? Don't worry, I didn't either.) My good friend caught wind that the guys next to us were part of Jason Aldean's band. She, not afraid to ask, turns to the first person she sees and asks him, "Are you in Jason Aldean's band?" Only she didn't know at that moment she was talking to Jason Aldean.

After giving her hell for a few minutes, he introduced himself to the rest of us and we hung out with him and his crew for a good part of the night.  He got his fair share of humility that night, even after the initial conversation. Only two of our group of seven knew who he was before the night began. One of my other friends asked him to watch his language. He bought her two shots.

A few lessons I learned that night:
1) Baseball players still go out in Scottsdale even if the game is downtown. (A tidbit we learned from another friend we met that night).
2) Pretend you don't know a famous person even if you really do.
3) The crew can be just as cool if not cooler than the lead guy.

I'm still on the hunt to meet some baseball players, but at least I've met some cool people along the way.

Dear Brandon Phillips

Dear Brandon Phillips,

I don't know if you remember me, but I asked for your autograph and got my picture taken with you during Spring Training '11. Just think back to the coolest person you got your picture taken with, and that's me. I posted that picture of you on my Facebook profile, when in reality, you should have posted that picture of me on your profile.

I'm writing this letter to you to help me on my quest. I chose you for 2 reasons:

1) You are the Fan's Best Friend. Really--As a Cincinnati Red's fan myself, I've seen how you acknowledge your fans at spring training, your home turf, or Twitter. So, if anybody's going to respond, it would be you.

2) I recently had a dream that you and I went roller skating many days in a row and became great friends so that you could help me with this ambition. (I know, roller skating, really? Sorry--probably not the way you have hoped to be in a girl's dream...)

As a disclaimer, let me say that I am not trying to do some kind of reverse psychology trick to get you to ask me on a date. No offense, but you're not exactly my type. Plus, you barely meet my height requirement.

Here's the main point of this letter:

What would you say that I need to do for an MLB player to ask me out on a date?

Any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

Yours truly,

Marie Colette

P.S. Congrats on getting voted into the All Star Game. To prepare yourself for the Phoenix heat I suggest you practice by sticking your head in the oven a few times before you come.

P.P.S. Go Reds!

Baseball and Players

My enjoyment of baseball began when I was about 8 years old. The summers after 3rd and 4th grade I played with the boys on the Little League baseball team. My proudest moment was the last game of that second year when I hit a double after frankly being afraid to hit the ball all season. I was awarded Most Improved Player.

In the past two years I have had the fortunate experience of living in Phoenix, Arizona. The even more fortunate experience comes every March when half the MLB teams come to Phoenix for spring training. It is by far the best month in Phoenix.
                     85 degree weather...
                                            sunshine...
                                                      green grass...
                                                                     autographs...
Because of the spring training facilities, Phoenix has become a baseball hub. You see, not everybody makes it to the big leagues. From my understanding, some of the players in the minors stick around for some additional training after the month of March.

I had the opportunity to meet one such player at my birthday party at the SandBar in May.  A few of my friends and I were out on the dance floor. I make eye contact with him and he comes over. He's tall. He's attractive. I soon learn that he's a minor league baseball player. He's got a few dance moves. This could work, I think.

I quickly learned few things from this first experience with a professional baseball player:

1) If he has no pride in the franchise for which he plays, he probably doesn't have much pride in anything else,
2) If he tells you he's an atheist on the dance floor....just why would anybody say that on the dance floor?
3) If he can't remember your name after 4 attempts (or even 1 for that matter), he has no intention of ever remembering your name,
4) If the only contact he leaves you with is a screenname for a social networking site, he might need to work on a few social skills, and
5) If he tells you he just wants to take you home with him, run the other way.

Which is what I did.

I'm not looking for a one night stand fellas. I don't care if you're a minor league player, the MVP of the National League, or that cute guy at the bar, that's not the way it works in my book. I'm convinced that baseball players are as different as any other group of people, and that this one baseball player doesn't represent them all. I hope I'm right.

The Quest

Baseball. The Greatest American Pasttime. Filled with traditions for players and fans alike. Enjoyed by all ages.

To me nothing is better than going to the baseball stadium and breathing in the aroma of
                       grilled hotdogs,
                                                cold beer,
                                                                 and freshly cut grass,
singing Take Me Out to the Ball Game during the 7th Inning Stretch, and turning my hat inside out when it's time to rally my team.

Where else would you find vendors yelling out "Get yo lemonade! Lemonade like Grandma made!" or muscle cams or the wave going around the stadium? (Ok, besides every other American sport?)

Dating. The young person's plight. Filled with confusion, way too much analysis for words spoken and unspoken, and an occasional happy ending. Enjoyed by some.

For me nothing is better than the
disappointment of an unreturned phone call
                         "Find me on Facebook" at the conclusion of a first date

                                                                             or initiator of a first date who backs out before it ever happens

(if it hasn't occurred to you, yet, I'm not doing so well in this area of my life)

What do baseball and dating have to do with each other? Well, let me explain my quest.

My quest is to go on a date with a Major League Baseball Player. (I apologize already to all you men out there who thought this was going to be a blog purely about sweat, leather, and hitting balls--don't worry, I hear your groans)
I know, this sounds crazy. Why would I, who am having so much trouble with the dating scene, want to make dating even harder? Because I want to answer that question that I'm convinced other women have had--can a slightly attractive, but fairly regular girl next door ever stand a chance with a Major League Baseball Player?

I'm going to found out.